If you would have asked me “what is love?” two years ago, I would have read you the riot act,”love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast…” and like my friends, you too would have rolled your eyes.
I could not sleep.
Forget sleep, I have not closed my eyes and kept my mind still for thirteen hours. He will be expecting an answer, but even as I write this, chances are you have walked right past me along these streets. You like every other person has probably walked right past me or worse off, him, but who gives the one they love an ultimatum? Who throws you off a cliff and tells you they’ll come for you in three days?
Forgive me, I am ahead of myself again, I cannot seem to catch my breath or align my thoughts. One thing is certain: I love him. The other thing is certain too; this kind of love scares me.
I was labeled Christine by my parents. They saw me and thought that name would suit me just fine, but sometimes, my soul yearns for Delilah. It yearns for a name that is as far as it can be from the one whose amazing nature is the basis of the Bible. I am no saint, but even as a sinner, I have my limits.
The one I love is called Mark. He is turning thirty six in a week and I know he hopes that I will stick around long enough to celebrate this milestone. Knowing Mark, he will probably go all out and hire event planners and caterers to throw him a lavish birthday party. His friends will come for the drinks and the promise of pretty things, and my friends will come to behold this rich dude that I snagged and they would plaster photos on Facebook, wishing us the best with their hearts hoping we break up or I die in my sleep.
If you are like my Mom, you are probably wondering, what led to the ultimatum? What happened that made Mark give me three days to decide whether I want to be with him?
Did we argue? No.
Did we stop trusting each other? No.
So, what is love? I have no idea for as I write this, I have two days to go and what I know is that love did not choose me. Someone did. His name is Mark and last night he finally told me what he does for a living and for the sake of love, I cannot help but feel as though my organs are spilling out of my body.