Am I afraid of my dreams?

No.

Certainly not…I mean, maybe, just a little…okay, I may be.

Have you ever given this kind of response?

If you have, then thank whoever made you realize all that because they are precious and as few as can be in this world.

You’d think that for someone who has written a story or two and published, that I’d be confident and certain of the next step when writing a story. Truth be told, I’m not. I struggle with every step of the writing process and not every story I’ve written has made it to publication.

stocksnap.io

There have been many stories that sounded epic in my mind but fizzled out on paper.

There have been characters that I loved but readers hated.

There have been also sales expectations that have never been met and yet, I still fret over one sentence, a cover image or just keeping the reader’s attention from the first to the last page.

So, today has been one of those days for me because I feel like time’s running out on me and I’ve got to set a story free. So, I found myself wallowing in my thoughts and constantly refilling my cup with tea until my sister asked “what’s wrong with you?”

I said “nothing, why do you ask?”

She said, “You always drink so many cups of tea when something is bothering you is it work again?”

“Really? Me…tea? You’re joking.”

“It’s true, but if it’s nothing then stop drinking all that tea, you’ll keep going to the toilet.” I had just been served the raw sauce by my sister and truth is, I am scared, not because this book will be out but what if it is nothing like I’d envisioned and what if it makes it to a reader’s hand and it doesn’t have an ounce of impact, not even an “I didn’t like the cover,” kind of impact?

I had a list of all the what if’s and just when it seemed like it would all make sense, my Mentor sent me an email detailing his thoughts on my writing and one sentence stuck out “this is new for you and it’s worth thinking about.”

So, if your dream scares you- great! Let it, maybe it’ll make you either shy away or push on. Whatever you do, if it involves fiction and writing- there’s nothing as satisfying as creating worlds with words…isn’t that how we’ve often known of the past?


2 thoughts on “Am I afraid of my dreams?

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